So the diet started on Monday and we got till lunch time when Sally brought in those damned cream cakes and well, I couldn’t be rude, it was her birthday so I'll start next Monday. I weighed myself on the hour every hour over the weekend and only drank water and ate one apple every meal time and I didn’t lose 5lbs like a magazine said so it was a waste of my time. I ran 3 miles every day for 6 days and got injured so I couldn’t keep it up for the full month like the challenge said but I’ll do it again next month. I signed up for a weight loss class and I lost 6 lbs on my first week but I can’t be bothered to go tonight, I deserve a night off and a treat for last week so I’m going to indulge and go back next week.
Any of this sound eerily familiar? How many times did you start something and not finish it? Ever done a 30 days squat challenge? 10 days in you’re killing it, feeling great and making progress and day 13 comes along and suddenly something comes up, but you’ll do double tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. How many times have you done this? And more to the point, how many times have you felt crap about doing it again and again?
Failure. Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Lazy. Fat sh*t. Unlovable. Stupid. Unworthy. Pathetic.
There you go, there's all the nic names I used to call myself when I screwed up. Everything in this post I said so many times and I’m sure 100’s more nasty names too because this is what I thought I was worth. How many times have you spoken badly about yourself to yourself and even used it to motivate you into doing the same self sabotage cycle as above. When does it stop? It stops today. ALL OF THE BELOW IS ME SPEAKING TO MYYSELF FIVE YEARS AGO.
Rule 1-Accept where you are now
At some point in the back of my head I created this pedestal of myself and what I should look like. It never existed, but I put in my mind, that's the ultimate goal. Maybe it was before I had my son, or when I was younger and Carr free, or before all my stretch marks or all the smoking damage I did to my body. Basically it was a magical time that I look back on and I pretended I was happy. It never existed, lets be clear on that. But in doing this, I have EVERY and I mean EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE way, to screw myself over. I can never go back in time and I can pretend I was happier about myself in the past but if I was that happy I never would have changed right? Lets face it, if we all had the 'perfect' body and weight and skin and whatever else then we would be 'perfectly' happy with no more problems, right? Yeah, balls. So here is rule number 1. Accept where you are right now. Don’t make it worse than it is, look at it, as it is ,right now. Ok I have body fat to lose, or maybe I'm not in the best shape I could be, I don't feel like I get enough sleep or I could benefit from drinking more water, these are kind and honest truths. Fact is, you are in your worst state, right now, this is your worst case scenario. There is only forwards and you'd better comes to terms with that before time runs out. If we take 2 steps forward and one step back you better believe that one step forward is good enough and over time, it WILL add up. You are never going to be where you were in the past but you can create a better you. Starting a year ago would of been great but if you start today, where could you be in a year? Being older, having a family or being in a different part of your life IS your new normal and you’d better get your sh*t together because guess what, time is passing you by and if you do this or not, the time will still pass anyways.
Rule 2-Decide what you want and don’t bullsh*t yourself
You know that girl on the front of the magazine advertising her new slimming secrets or that sparkling kitchen on the front of the bottle of spray bleach, they are the same. NONEXISTANT. You won't have either, just by buying the product. Don’t buy the bullsh*t story of losing weight by eating a pill or drinking a ‘slimming tea’ and wonder why months later when you didn’t see that massive change and gave up. Also why you’re now even worse off weight wise and £29.99 down. Write down your honesty and work out a plan in SMART goal form.
"I want to lose weight"…muscle and bones or body fat?
"Ok, I want to lose 10% body fat"…ok then what, put it back on?
"I want to lose 10% body fat and keep it off forever"…what if you have a baby?
"Ok I want to lose 10% body fat and keep it off for a year"…great, that's a starter goal, how long will this take?
"3 months"…how are you going to do that?
"I’ll eat healthy"…you can only lose weight by use of calories in v calories out.
"Ok I will track my food for 1 week and cycle it for 6 weeks and then change it up. I will measure my body with a piece of string once a week and stand on the scales every week at the same time on the same day each week to track my progress" –NOW THATS A PLAN!!
The fact is we have all faced disappointment and the reason we self sabotage, fail, give up, get injured, can't afford it, are “too busy” to keep it up is because don't make it a priority. Is it reasonable to lose 1lb in a week? Yes. Is it reasonable to put 6lbs on in 2 weeks? Hell no, where's the self control? So we have one slip up, does that mean we should turn it into a 2 week eating binge? No, we need self control, self discipline, but in a balance we can maintain. You brush your teeth every day, you buy the toothpaste, you buy the toothbrush, you make the time to do it every day. So how did that 12" pizza mysterious jump up and five feed you?? We have to be honest with our discipline. How to get disciplined when we don't already have it? Google it? Read about it? Watch videos on how to do it? No just f*cking do it, little by little, step by step. Just buy the toothpaste. But if our goal is something that’s never existed in the first place, what else do you expect? Can you lose half a stone in a week? Yeah if you chop off a limb. If it’s not possible, it’s not possible and no amount of, "oh she did it in this magazine" or "i’ll defy you and prove it can be done" can help you. It’s bullsh*t. Choose a goal you can realistically achieve and when self sabotage rears its ugly head, grow some balls and challenge it. You bought the chocolate in the fridge. Bullsh*t its for the kids because they will only have to learn how to lose the same weight when they're older too. Here's an idea, stop buying it. When you body starts to crave unhealthy food that's a sign of whats going to kill you. Yep that greasy pizza one too many times that you couldn't control the craving of is going to give you a heart attack. The 'last ciggy' before you quit for life and you really mean it but you'll start next week, is what turned on your lung cancer cells. The chocolate in the fridge that you bought because it was 'on offer' is why your children will develop diabetes when they get older too. This is reality. Without balance this happens. The food industry of course wants to make it appealing to you because without your purchase their business doesn't exist. But at the end of the day you are the one who bought it, went home and ate the whole pint of Ben and Jerrys, not Ben or Jerry.
When you give up on a goal, whatever it may be, you’re doing it for a reason. Don’t tell me one more bullsh*t story of how your cat got sick and you couldn’t make it to spin class. No one in this life gets the special treatment, you have to suck it up and make the best of it you can. I got toxic poisoning from the gloss paint in my bathroom two weeks ago, I was uncontrollably ill but I did what I had to do and got back on the horse. I’m not special, it’s part of life so I was resilient and got on with it. I was a single Mum for 16 years and used every excuse under the sun to stay unhealthy. What's funny is when I made the decision and finally lost the weight I was doing exactly what I could have easily done when my son we sleeping or at school. I bought the crap foods and fed them to him, I gave him the life I hated, no one else. I made the portions too big, I got the bus everywhere for us and I was the one who put him in bigger clothes when his didn't fit, me. I made excuses because I knew in the back of my mind I’d never be that 18 year old pre pregnancy version of myself and you know what, I’m GLAD. That 18 year old girl was messed up. She thought going out every weekend spending money she didn’t have was what life was all about. Having my son made me grow up fast and I’m thankful every day for him. Having my son became my new normal but only now I deal with life as it comes. It took me so many years to work all this out. I could of drastically affected my sons life if I hadn't changed.
Every time I didn’t follow through I didn’t have to face the reality that I would never be that 18 year old me again. Every time I chose to give up, I was in control, I could quit when I wanted to. Instead of actually finishing something and having to deal with the facts of my abilities or being disappointed with that my efforts had amounted to, I chose to run away like a coward. Ever worked really hard for something and not achieved what you set out to do? It sucks. But when you decide get over yourself and really make the path to achievement bullet proof…anything is truly possible. BURN THE BOATS!
Rule 3-Take massive action
Stop the bullsh*t, as above and just get on with it. You cannot keep saying this is what you want and not doing anything about it. Don’t buy a dress you plan to get into and then leave it in the back of the wardrobe with the tags still on for 'when you can get into it'. Don’t buy a product that promises instant results because if it was that easy a) Everyone would be doing it and b) You wont appreciate it and it will all be worthless and c) Don’t fall into that simple trap of buying what you think will make you happy, just to feel happy in the moment only to sack it off later so you don’t face the harsh reality that it wasn’t worth it in the first place. Also don't LIE to yourself and pretend it will all happen in the future. The future is a magical time where anything will happen. I don't need to do anything today because, in the future, I will make time for my health, change my eating habits, get rid of toxic relationships, leave the job I hate or cut down on my stress. It's the lie you tell yourself to feel ok in the moment. I know, I said it so many times it lost all meaning. Watching my Mum die for a week was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Not just because of the pain and cruelty she endured from being diagnosed to her passing. The most painful part of all was it was all PREVENTABLE. Do you want your children to know that? Don't pretend you have all the time in the world because you only have today to make a difference. Put in the hard work now and look everywhere at what you need to make you successful. Can you lose 2 stone? Yeah but why look at such a big task in one to. Can you lose 1lbs of body fat in a week? Of course but a week is a long time. Can you work out the calories in the food you ate today, sure can. What about just your breakfast. Yep. What about that single decision of having the ice cream in your hand at the supermarket. Does it go in the trolley or do you finally make the choice to say, "it's just not where I'm at right now". There will ALWAYS be ice cream and cake, but until we know portion sizes and we are in control of our eating, is it more important than you life? It's never one bowl of ice cream that's the problem, it's all the little things that add up. Like the extra sugar in your cuppa, that can of energy drink, the handful of 'healthy' food that we don't know the portion sizes of. Keep simplifying your actions and in time all the small steps towards your goals add up.
The fact is, we are not all perfect because perfection doesn't exist. If you workout for 4 days in 7, great, 3 days in 7, great, 2 days in 7, great. 0 days in 7, then we have a problem.
"Ok but I want to look like Kim Kardashian by the end of this 30 days squat challenge"
Surprise, surprise, you never EVER will, because you are not her. What you will have is discipline, better range of motion and stronger bum muscles. So what we have is on one side, unachievable goals that make us depressed and feel like a failure or on the other side, making the best of it, thinking of what we can be grateful for and appreciating every effort made. Because logically, if you can do the 30 day squat challenge, you can then use that for the rest of your life. Can you eat the same bowl of cereal for three days to help you lose weight? No? Remember when you did that 30 day squat challenge? If you can do 30 days, you can do 3. 30 day squats challenges have rest days so if you can stick to the program for 30 days, you can try another 30 days of a different program. Over time this builds into 3 months and 6 months and then a year and before you know it, you have what you always wanted. You also have a year of hard work to make sure you don't reverse your efforts. Can you do day 1? Can you achieve day 3? Then better that than day none. Be aware that you have to choose to be greatful for what you do have in life every single day to make it stick. Write it down, remember what you did to keep progressing and look over everything you have achieved. Aknowledge things that don’t work and work out how to move past them so next time, you have a plan in place. I can’t make it for the full hour of spin class but I can do half the class and walk home, which take half an hour. Problem solved.
In conclusion, you keep screwing yourself over because its a bad habit, like smoking or calling yourself fat. Make life simple for yourself and when you think you don’t have time to make changes, just give this beauty a read over.