Wolfpack co-hosting #UKRunChat tonight

I’m super excited to be co-hosting the UKRunChat hour tonight with the lovely @writtenbyrach

UKRunChat is a fantastic online running community that started back in 2013 just as I was starting my fitness journey.

I was looking for help & advice with my running, a place I could feel safe & the UKRunChat community were there.

Over the years the community has become an outstanding group of over 57k runners on Twitter alone who are some of the most supportive people I have ever known.

From day one, the ethos of the community has always been to support each other & this just continues to get stronger. With local meet ups & branching into various sports, the team at UKRunChat have gone above & beyond to help their fellow athletes.

It means a lot to me to be able to give back tonight because there’s so many people starting their running journey, just like I was a few years ago. People I didn’t know helped me to keep going when I struggled. I can only hope to inspire or help others too in any way I can.

So it’s time to get your Twitter on & get those questions because we are live tonight at 8pm!! I’m so excited!

https://www.ukrunchat.co.uk

The fastest hour of the week takes place on Twitter, Sundays & Wednesday 8-9pm using the hashtag #UKRunChat

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The kids at school made fun of me because my Mum’s fat

True sentence that came out of my sons mouth. Absolutely heartbreaking but completely true, I was heavily overweight. I’m so sorry son. I let you down for so many years. But it will never happen again.

I look appalling squeezing into a size 20 blouse in point blank refusal to go buy a size 22. I was in complete denial that my shoes didn’t fit me leaving agonising marks on my poor feet. I would buy so many beautiful clothes and leave them at the back of the wardrobe, tags still on to wear ‘when I can fit into them’.

But none of that compared to my son telling me how he was bullied in junior school because of my weight. He didn’t even tell me until after I’d lost the weight. He’d put up with it and dealt with it alone so he didn’t have to hurt my feelings.

My poor boy went through all that because I couldn’t get my act together. But things can change and you can be a role model for your children too.

My handsome young man now embraces the same healthy diet as me, he has his own gym membership and trained to complete the coast to coast after falling in love with fitness from my influence.

Lead by example, don’t let your children suffer. Learn about how to get fit and stay healthy. Do it for them so they can learn from you. This way they never have to go through it when they’re older.

Kinda cool that his new college friends called him out for chatting up women in the gym the other day. Red faced when he told them it was his Personal Trainer Mum. Sorry son, guess I’m still embarrassing!!

Wolfpack Weight Loss Tracker starts in just 10 days!!

•Weight Loss Nutrition Coaching Seminar

•Bespoke Nutrition Plan

•8 Weeks Weight Loss Tracker

•At home/Group Workouts

Starts from £25

Love & light

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Are you addicted to self sabotage?

I’ll lose weight when we’ve finished remodelling the bathroom

The diet starts Monday!

I don’t have time to go to the gym

Let’s try this new slimming tea I’ve heard all the celebs do

This month I can’t afford to eat healthy

Yeah it’s the same cr*p I used to say.

Self sabotage, anxiety & depression all came from the same happy place in my brain that also like to look for wrinkles in the mirror whilst standing on the scales hoping for a miracle. No more! Having read Sarah Knights ‘The life changing magic of not giving a f••k’ I can advise that lists have been made, items have been crossed off & f*ck have been stopped. (I whole heartedly don’t give a f*ck about the scales anymore)

It annoys me to think that for 10 adult years I wouldn’t go swimming in case someone saw me in my bathing suit. What did I think would happen? That they would walk up & say “hey, you’re overweight” well yes that’s true, thanks for pointing out the obvious a$$hole. What if they said “you look like a beached whale” well then that just makes them an ‘official’ a$$hole. But not swimming because of what other people think, that me being an a$$hole to myself.

What we’re really scared of is facing the truth about how WE, not other people, really feel about OURSELVES.

The fact was, I was heavily overweight, I had an addiction to food, an unhealthy relationship with food, I was too lazy to get off my ar$e to walk my son to school & I prioritised greasy take away menus over cookery books.

Yes I was in a car accident many years ago that started me having ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) but honestly, I was a car wreck inside before the accident. Having ME or something similar was honestly just waiting to happen.

So what happens when we don’t face up to where we are? And I don’t mean standing on the scale, counting how many fags we had hanging out the bedroom window or looking at the glass recycling box at the many wine bottles we played ‘escape reality’ with. I mean really looking at your life. When you can finally be honest with yourself & decide if what you have is what you really want, you can then make a choice of what to do next.

Knowing intellectually that smoking is bad for your health is one thing. Not buying cigarettes is another. Every time I lit one up at work I was accepting that one day this could be the reason my son watches me die. Heavy but true. This cigarette was the reason I ‘couldn’t afford to eat healthy’. All the energy it took to earn money to pay for them once I’d found the energy to buy them was all the ‘time I didn’t have for the gym’. I either face up to it & accept it, or waste my life lying to myself . Going for a cigarette on a break from the job I hated made me feel better for that 3 mins. The quiet, the deep breathing & the headspace is exactly what I have now, just without the smokes, expense, health risks or sh*tty job.

My self sabotage was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Just so I could fit in I would drink like everyone else. I had neither the money, the time or the want to do it but I still did it. Fitting in made me feel better, temporarily. It the same reason I got in bad relationships, because I thought I had to be in any relationship to be happy.

But sometimes we do make the effort to do our best & it still doesn’t work because something comes up. Hey self sabotage, Jane brought cakes to work, Michaels invited your all for a drink after work & that take away menu is sooo cheap, let’s party! So why when we’ve done so well & come so far do we mess it all up? Why can’t this diet just work or this PT just miraculously make me skinny? Why? Because life isn’t about quick fixes, it’s about learning & putting it into action. When you self sabotage or mess it up it’s for the same reason every time, work that sh*t out, problem solved.

Guess what? Life doesn’t just happen, things don’t get in the way, bills don’t sneak up on you and the children don’t just need your time for the moment. The truth of that b*llsh*t story you keep telling yourself is this. Life ALWAYS happens. Things will ALWAYS get in the way. Bills will ALWAYS be there. And guess what? Kids will ALWAYS need you. So what’s your b*llsh*t excuse now?

Now for the nice-ish bit.

The fact is to self sabotage you have to of experienced pain once in your life. In case you haven’t worked it out, people only ever do things for two reasons, only two, ever, like every time. We do things to gain pleasure or to avoid pain. That’s the top & bottom of it.

You want to look good in that dress? Why? To feel good. You don’t want to go back to that fitness class, why? Because it made you feel tired. You don’t want to stop smoking? It’s killing you but you are addicted…pain/pleasure it’s a tricky one, I’m telling you.

When I lost weight in the past, I put it straight back on, no joke, about a hundred times. The same pounds, on & off. I was so ready to lose that weight though. Like, everything fighting inside me wanted it to be true, honest I would have bet my life on it. Yet I’d sill end up drunk in a taxi with my Friday night greasy take away that would be just the start to my booze & food binge-a-thon weekend.

F*CK THAT SH*T

Seriously…I had to grow up.

I didn’t go through everything I have in this lifetime to end up a sad lonely bitter old booze soaked cat lady. Trust me, I had two cats already, the rest were just scratching at the door.

Here’s the biggest life lesson…you’re NEVER going to feel like it. Yep, aren’t you glad you started reading this? I’ll say it again..you’re NEVER going to feel like it. Yep that’s what I said, NEVER. You’re never going to feel like choosing an apple over cake, going to the gym over staying in bed, going for a run instead of nursing that hangover. Nope, never, ever, ever. You know why??? Your excuses!

The biggest b*llsh*t story in my life is my past. The facts are I grew up in an environment that no child should have to endure but I wore it like my badge of honour. No one cared about me so I don’t have to care about anyone else. No one helped me, so guess what? F*ck you!

As a child I didn’t know any better. I tried to survive & developed coping mechanisms. They worked when I needed them, but over time, they just weren’t valid anymore. I was an adult far away from that life but still acting like the world owed me a favour, the world said f*ck you too. But I didn’t want to let go of my past because then I’d have to accept who I was now & what I was doing with my life. Oooh we remember that from earlier. Yeah I couldn’t do it. I want to bask in all the glory of a my broken home & blame everyone else for MY mistakes. Welcome home sad cat lady…

The day something changed was when a nurse said 5 simple words to me. My Mum has just died. I was sat in the room with her unable to move. I’d witnessed so many horrible truths that day & just as I couldn’t take anymore. A nurse came & put a hand on my shoulder & said “you’re going to be ok”. Knowing she must have to deal with these situations daily, for the first time, I actually trusted for once in my life, I accepted those words & I believed her. The floodgates opened. I sat in the side room alone for two hours sobbing my heart uncontrollably. Years of pain finally released. I wailed & screamed quietly (I am British) in unbearable pain under my hoodie to the point there was nothing left. The room went quiet & I felt like a time of rocks had left my body. Numb, but free.

I really was ok from them on. It wasn’t a miracle cure but from that day on something, even 0.001% was different, changed forever. It was hard work building on that 0.001% but it’s all been worth it.

Mum dying wasn’t the pinnacle moment in me deciding to change my life. It was in realising that strangers do care. Every day as I child I wanted someone, anyone to rescue me. My parents always said no one gives a sh*t. When you grow up in bad circumstances around cowardly people, that’s your model of the world. No social workers, no police, no family members, no one came to help me. But that day everything changed, I realised people do care, I just didn’t meet them back then. So I made a decision that changed my life that if strangers care about me, I care about them too.

Instead of being so closed off I started to open up, not just physically actually talking to other humans, but emotionally. Again it wasn’t overnight but I started to deal with feelings I’d ignored for so long or even ones I didn’t know what the feeling was. I learned about shame, guilt, anger & how to recognise & process them. I’m still learning, I don’t think that lesson ends once you start.

Remember when I said, you’ll never feel like doing it. Yeah that’s not quite true. When you start to be honest with yourself, finding new ways to really make yourself happy, falling in love with the process of change. Guess what? The mind changes too.

“Oh I wish I had your motivation” is such a b*llsh*t phrase. I go for a run because I love how it makes me feel & those guacamole tacos! I make time for yoga because I’m 35 & I don’t want to drag my a$$ from the bed in a morning like bear who just woke up from hibernation. Stretching out first thing feels amazing & yeah it gives me giggies that I can stand on my head like a toddler. I’m 30bloody5, I’ve been to hell & back but this lil body hasn’t given up on me yet. So now I know better, I do better & I treat it with respect.

Honestly I’ve eaten enough trash to last me a lifetime so do I miss pop tarts? No, they would make me feel ill now because I’m so used to not eating 4 of them everyday like I used to in junior school. FYI That’s why I was the heavy kid with mood swings. I don’t remember it being fun then & it wouldn’t be now so I no longer give a f*ck about pop tarts.

So what about when anxiety hits? When I’m worried about the outcome so much it makes me not want to do it or invent a reason so I just can’t make it happen…time to suck it up buttercup. I GET SH*T DONE. The more I do it the more I feel ok about it or the more I realise what I don’t want to do. Don’t say yes to something you don’t want to do. Cancelling at last min when, in your heart, you had no intention to go in the first place, makes you an a$$hole. Don’t give me that look. It’s not me who said it, read Sarah’s book!

I don’t cancel on my workouts because they mean more to me that being a hungover sh*tty parent used to. I keep doing meditations because I don’t want to deal with the smokers lung cancer my Nana died from. I don’t buy the rubbish foods because I don’t want to feel bad eating them, forcing myself to workout to burn them off or loop back into self sabotage & do it all again when the sugar high wears off. Finally I choose not to drink because eventually that’s how I lost my Mum.

As I once read something similar in a fabulous book…Exercise for the sake of burning calories & sweating through my sports bra is not something I give a f*ck about, but health isn’t just about how many squats you can do. Health is also about reaching goals like sleeping more, staying calm & maybe not eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s every time I’m pi$$ed off.

That’s why I do what I do now. I help people channel negative energy into improving their own health & fitness. But I can only give you the blueprint, it’s up to you to build that life for yourself.

Self sabotaging? Get your sh*t together…omg that sounds like the best title for a book (wink face)

Peace, love & light.

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Lose a stone for Christmas Tracker

So here I am full of New Years resolutions I was sooo going to keep. I was going to loose all the weight & look just like Jennifer Anniston. I’d already throw all my money into gym clothes with a years gym membership I couldn’t afford ready to change my life. What happened? Nothing.

I know what it’s like to be a very tight size 22. I’ve been in the body I hated with a passion but I still couldn’t change. I’ve done a thousand fad diets, starvation & quick fix bootcamps. Guess what, yep it all came back on. Every last pound & more!

The reason I’ve gone through this weight loss journey (still going) is because there was no one out there like I was who did what I wanted to do. Until one day I was doing it, I was making it happen & feeling all the hard work pay off.

I haven’t gone through years of hard work, study and education to sell you another weight loss miracle. There’s no magic pills, teas, shakes, wraps or instant results. Sorry, look elsewhere. Hard work gets results. Not excuses, not blaming others, don’t blame your resources, blame your lack of priorities. Because once you take responsibility for your actions, change HAPPENS.

Am I the perfect example of fitness like on the magazines? No I’m a normal Mum who has jeans without the muffin top. I’m normal & I deserve to feel happy in my own skin, just like you!

No one held my hand when I started running at 17 stone. I decided this is what I wanted & I left no other options other than to get it done.

I have proved what is possible, I have successfully achieved 11 qualifications in health & fitness with full time education so I can teach others. This is my absolute passion in life & I cannot wait to teach you how to finally make a breakthrough & reach those goals.

Don’t buy into the magic of another weight loss gimmick. If you truly accept that you have never been taught properly how to manage your weight or how to get fit then take responsibility & make 2018 your year!

Learn how to lose weight from someone who has done it, studied it & has the qualifications to teach YOU how to make it happen.

Call to book 07980142244

Fin

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What’s on with Wolfpack?

Lose a stone before Christmas

8 week weight loss tracking. Choose a weight loss seminar date, choose if you’d like at home workouts or add classes with the premium package.

Sat 28th & Sunday 29th both 10.30-12.30

£25-£45

Pre & Post Natal Fitness

Gentle exercise for soon to be Mum’s or new Mums looking to manage their weight & feel more energised.

Tuesday 10-11am

£6

Inch Loss Core Level 1

HIIT for those looking to get toned up, lose weight & get their body in great shape.

Tuesday 6.30-7.30pm

£6

Team Wolfpack Run Group

  • 3 miles steady 12min mile

Wednesday 6.30-7.30pm

  • 12321 Run intervals

Meet at Cockerton Library Friday 5-6pm

£2.50

Boxing Conditioning with Grant

Endurance boxing & core work to build confidence & stamina.

Wednesday 7.45-8.45

£6

Call 07980142244 to book or for more info

– Cancelled –

Inch Loss Thursdays

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Don’t run because you think you should

Run…

To tell your anxiety to f#*k off

To hear all about your friends date last night

So you don’t murder the kids

To listen to that podcast you’ve been wanting to hear for ages & never have time for

So you can burn off the calories of that amazing meal you had last night

To see how brave you are to run alone

Enjoy the beautiful scent of your neighbours freshly cut lawns (who have way too much time on their hands to keep those edges so clean)

So you can what the sheep do at 6am before the world is awake

Because it makes your children proud when you’re running with them

To get head space when work feels like a never ending nightmare

With the old school tunes on full blast to remember what pop music was like before Britney shaved her head

To feel alive & like you can accomplish anything

To natter with people you’d never normally connect with

Go see the sunrise & remember how lucky you are to have this day

Run distances you’ve never done before & thought would never happen

To feel easier about the day because you achieved something

When you can’t sleep & you need your brain to switch off

Find yourself crying in the middle of a field just because you finally remembered how strong you are

Run because you can’t wait to have that me time & know you’re the best version of yourself when you do

When depression, rumination, procrastination & negative thinking gets too much

You stopped giving a sh*t if people see your wobbly bits & started to take pride in those beautiful toned legs

Run because no one can take this away from you, these are my reason so whenever I need it, it’s just two shoes & a door key away

Love & light

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Learning from injuries to become a better running

So many years ago an unhappy a 17 stone girl recovering from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis went for a run. 7 seconds later, she came to a sudden halt. Flustered, heart pounding, head spinning breath beaten, I looked behind me. Do I go on, or go home? Quite possibly this was the biggest choice of my life. I could go home defeated and accept my overweight fate or I could listen to Dory.

When I first started running it was purely for weight loss. When I found out it burns more calories than any other exercise, I was in. What I didn’t expect was to find a whole new part of myself.

As a non runner, I though you guys were nuts. Who gets up on a Saturday morning to run three miles. (Go on, correct me and say it’s 3.1…) Why were runners always smiling out on a run? & what the hells a Garmin??

Now I’m one of these crazy loons. Yep, my washing basket smells like a septic tank, I have more running shoes than Sports Direct, I wear bright yellow shirts in public, I have one of those tiny back packs you fill with water, my toes sometimes look like I’ve been mauled by a bear & yes I have a Garmin tan line! I’m a runner & proud.

So how did running break my heart? I didn’t, I broke it myself. Alike a lot of relationships I fell head over heels & it became a runaway train. Before my first year was up I’d done a half marathon. I didn’t stop and because of that, I was plagued with repetitive injuries. PB’s became an acute obsession, even at ParkRun. I’d lost a lot of weight & I was gym training too which took its toll on my body.

Soon enough I reached that point that every runner reaches, the injury of no return. Determined for a ParkRun PB I ran round with some friends. They helped pace me & I was so close to breaking in sub 23. I was was running on ITBS (the side of your leg hurts like it’s been stapled together) & the pain was so excruciating….& then I heard it. RIP>>>>Tearing my right IT band was a whole new level of pain.

As most runners experience, once I’d gone too far, I’d seriously gone too far. I was done for. My marathon training went down from 40-60 miles a week to less than 10. Heart breaking. I had a place in Edinburgh Marathon waiting & time was ticking. But this wasn’t even the worst to come.

In the last few year I’ve met & worked with so many amazing athletes, trainer, coaches & tutors. But one of the biggest impacts in my life had been during my Sports Therapy training. I learned so much about the body I’d never knew before. I had no idea how effective preventative measures were when you get it right. I started to learn just what my body needed to heel stronger & how to change all the damage I’d done.

Education was one thing but being around people who saw your potential & didn’t give you any slack really helped shape me.

I’ve had confidence issues all my life. Learning how to run & getting good at it, meant I wanted to do the sh*t out of it. Oh & boy did I! But as always when you do too much, I burned out fast. I crashed spectacularly & the flame burned for quite a while. I didn’t give my body what it needed & soon I was out of running full stop.

Thanks to one of the best fitness tutors I’ve worked with, I learned what my body needed to recover & how to fit it in around my lifestyle. Once I started to see improvement, it became effortless to keep up & now its a standard in my routine.

To gain the qualifications I completed 500 hours of practical training. Over time, I was working with all kind of injuries, sports related complaints & common everyday problems. To be out of my own training was tough but being in clinic full time was everything I needed gain more experience.

Learning the hard way lost me my place in the Edinburgh Marathon. The day my number arrived in the post was brutal. Knowing I’d given up my training, even for the right reasons, really hurt. I knew there were people running that race with similar injuries. As a Sports Therapist I can only strongly advise, people make their own choices. It wasn’t worth the risk so I did what’s right for me.

Since being qualified, my study doesn’t stop. I like to read up & understand more about how the human body work. Having been through my own injury battles I feel stronger, not just physically but mentally. I feel confident when I see clients that there are always ways & means to improve. I know how it feels to have it taken away & what it feels like when your hearts broken. So to be able to use my experience as part of others healing process, make it a good lesson to learn.

Don’t ignore the warning signs. When the body needs extra help, it tells you. Don’t carry on training until it gets worse, get booked in & lets get it resolved for good.

In the meantime, here’s a runners stretch guide. Practice after every run (up to 5 times a week) for 6 weeks & commit to your recovery.

Yoga for Runners

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